Ya know, just a little one. That consists of me not being able to follow through with, well, doing shit.

Take for example, my last handful of journal entries. Constantly saying I'll do stuff and share, and then... doing nothing of note, aside from updating my journal to let people who care to know I'm alive.

I should really do stuff.

I really should.

Problem is... I can't figure out what to do. I'm literally drawing a blank. I've tried sketching and doodling, and I just don't get the feeling of a goal behind what I want to draw.

Its odd. When I was in school, I'd doodle with purpose, to occupy my mind because the textbooks and lectures didn't keep my attention. Nowadays, I have little to no goal when drawing, other than to draw.

I think that's my failure. That I'm trying to draw for the sake of drawing. I need motivation, drive and subject matter. Without that... I can't do anything except put a pencil to paper and produce half-assed stuff.

Consider this a formal request for any suggestions or direction. I need... something. I want something to do... need to feel the sickness~ in you. I feel the reason as its leaving me- no, not again.. its quite deceiving as I'm feeling- No flesh make me bad...

Does it make me bad?